We live in a superficial world and this is the story of why I decided to show the world I wasn't perfect.
Where do I even start with writing this post.. well I guess I could start at the beginning. Growing up I started modelling in Dubai (where I grew up) at the age of 10 in addition I was a dancer and always on stage therefore my 'looks' were something of a selling point from a young age. I had completely clear skin while doing all the modelling and dancing but ofcourse always had makeup on, even at that young age. Suddenly at around 13 I got the casual break out, as everybody does at that age, then it started to get worse.
I moved to England when I was 16 all on my own to go to art college and suddenly me skin went MENTAL and my confidence plummeted! I remember at the time I was seeing a guy and won't even go to bed with no makeup, yet I slept in Mac Studio Fix foundation basically every night because I couldn't show him how bad my skin was.. that is probably one of the main factors for it getting even worse!
I went to the doctor and was prescribed anti-biotics for 6 months, easy just take a pill a day and apply topical creams at night. 6 months passed and my skin actually got better NO it wasn't CLEAR but it was BETTER. I was with my current boyfriend at the time and didn't care about taking my makeup off, so no more pore clogging while I slept.
Unfortunately my skin got bad AGAIN so was put on anti-biotics AGAIN but.. AGAIN my skin got better but I was left with some scarring that went away after about a year and a half.
In April 2017 I found out I was a Finalist on Britain's Next Top Model! Suddenly my skin got WORSE..... AGAIN! I was TERRIFIED to be going on to a TV show, infront of loads of people - makeup artists, photographers, living with girls I didn't know and had to take my makeup off infront of them all and showcase my BIGGEST INSECURITY (HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO THATTTTT AHHHHHH)
FIRST EPISODE... - girls you are going to be stripped bare so take off your makeup and wear nude bodysuits - seriously the FIRST episode I had to take off my makeup and showcase to all these girls my acne..... I wanted to curl up into a hole. But I did it I stood there infront of camera men, producers, makeup artists, all these girls I had never met before and ABBEY CLANCY showing my acne for the whole world to see. I DID IT!
From then on my skin unfortunately got worse and worse and I was completely isolated so couldn't by any skincare, any supplements, eat what I want, go to a doctor etc. I was in a modelling competition that was all about your looks and also I had a camera in my face 24/7 I lost ALL CONFIDENCE I had, I was angry, upset, in pain and NOT OK. It all came to a head when I broke down in the episode I got eliminated, I just couldn't take it anymore I needed to go home and clear my acne.
Britain's Next Top Model was an AMAZING experience, I got to meet some amazing people, work with amazing brands and make amazing friends however I don't think it was the bet experience at the time for me because I was fighting so many demons in my own head and trying to mask a huge insecurity of my own. I believe if my acne wasn't bad and I had more confidence then it would of gone so much better, I don't have anyone to blame but myself, well actually my skin but still if I did it all again with clear skin I really do think it would of gone differently.
I came out of the house and went straight to the doctors and guess what they put me on anti-biotics AGAIN - it did NOT work this time - my skin actually got worse - no lie. What was I to do?
Post a no makeup selfie on instagram... wtf you may say but I was like you know what it is out in the open now, people saw it on tv and I got so many lovely messages about the episode and me showing my acne which I really appreciate btw, thank you, so I decided this is me and the world needs to know. #freethepimple was born and I posted the selfie (image above) on my instagram. Suddenly I didn't have to hide anymore, everyone knew so if they saw me out with no makeup it is fine they already knew so nothing needed to be said. I got messages and messages from people saying thank you for showing your acne and sharing their own stories with me! I seriously felt liberated and it is all thanks to social media! Social media can be a very dark place, I have had my own trolls so I get it but I was lucky that positivity was left on my page and people I met, people I knew said it is amazing what I am doing. I am now not afraid to show my acne and share my story, my skin doesn't define me and it is not my fault so you know what I flaunt it now and if you suffer with acne too you should also flaunt it!
I am now NOT taking anymore anti-biotics and am working with SK:N an amazing skin company in the UK to help clear my skin - I have had chemical peels so far but have more treatments to come and my skin is actually already getting better (see below) however that is for another post at another time.
I want to leave this post with saying thank you to my followers who made me come to terms with my acne, letting me post these pictures with no judgement and hate and thank you for letting me feel liberated and not afraid to be me. Thank you for giving me my confidence back. And if you also are suffering with acne I totally feel you and I am here to answer your questions if you have any or to just see you are NOT ALONE. Acne really affects people's mental health, confidence, life and also bank balance so I understand how hard it is but if I can post these pictures so can you ;)
Lou
xx
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